Thursday, March 28, 2024

Sister Tarpley’s column: Leaving the pain behind

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,”  “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked thinketh no evil;”   I Corinthians 13:4 & 5

Have you ever tried to forgive someone and found that you simply couldn’t do it?  You have cried about it and prayed about it and asked God to help you, but those old feelings of resentment just would not go away.

Put an end to those kinds of failures in the future by basing your forgiveness on “faith” rather than “feelings.”  The late Pastor Philip White of Love Chapel C.O.G.I.C. use to say, “Feelings come and go, therefore you can’t trust them.” 

True forgiveness doesn’t have anything at all to do with how you feel.  It’s an act of your will.  It is based on obedience to God and on faith in Him and His Word.

This means that once you have forgiven a person, you need to consider him or her permanently forgiven. When old feelings rise up within you and Satan tries to convince you that you haven’t really forgiven that person, resist Satan, say, “No, by faith I have already forgiven that person; and I refuse to dwell on those old feelings.”

Then, according to I John 1:9 believe that you receive forgiveness and cleansing from the sin of unforgiveness and from all unrighteousness associated with it including any remembrance of having been wronged.

Have you ever heard anyone say, “I may forgive but I’ll never forget?”  That’s a second-rate kind of forgiveness that you, as a believer, are never supposed to settle for; you are to forgive supernaturally, “. . . even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  Ephesians 4:32

You are to forgive as God forgives.  You are to release that person from guilt permanently and unconditionally and to operate as if nothing bad ever happened between you.  You are to purposely forget as well as forgive.

As you do that, something supernatural will happen within you.  The pain that once was caused by that incident will disappear.  The power of God will wash away the effects of it and you will be able to leave it behind you once and for all.

Don’t become an emotional bookkeeper, keeping careful accounts of the wrongs you have suffered.  Learn to forgive and forget.  It will open a whole new world of blessing for you.  Scripture reading:  St. Luke 6:27-37.

What is needed here is “Grace.”  After Jesus was crucified and raised from the dead, He appeared to the disciples. His first words to them were, “Peace be with you!”  John 20:19. The word grace means “unmerited favor.”

When someone loves you unconditionally, without regard to your behavior in return, it becomes a powerful force in your life. Such was the case for the disciples when Jesus appeared to them. They could have expected reprimand. Instead, they received unconditional love and acceptance. He was overjoyed to see them. They were equally overjoyed to see Him.

Jesus understood that the disciples needed to fail Him as part of their training. It would be this failure that became their greatest motivation for service. Failure allowed them to experience incredible grace for the very first time. Grace would transform them as human beings.

Have you experienced this grace in your life? Have you extended grace to those who have hurt you? Can you let go of any wrongs that have come through friends or associates? The grace you extend may change their lives – and yours.

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