By Barry Curtis
It will come as no surprise to most, but we humans, well we lie. If that wasn’t enough, apparently we do a lot of it.
In the book The Truth about Lying, by Robert Feldman, in the average 10-minute conversation we tell two or three lies, says Feldman. He is an American psychologist and one of the world’s leading experts on lying.
Let’s contemplate the consequences of that statement. In a typical conversation you are having with a coworker for 20 minutes, you can assume they have lied to you at least six times. So what was the honest answer as to why I was taken off the project? Was my employee really sick when he called in? Is he really just a new guy or am I training my replacement?
Men lie differently than women. I didn’t say we lie more, I said we lie differently. Men tend to tell lies that elevate their status in the world. We lie about how much money we make, how many sexual conquest we have had and what positions we hold in the world.
Women on the other hand tend to tell lies that lessen the impact of living. Women lie about their age, and their weight. Also, unlike men, women lie about how few sexual encounters they have experienced.
Most of the lies we tell are “white lies.” Those are the lies we tell when we are doing it for the greater good.
“Yes, dear you look great in those short shorts.”
“No, dear your butt is not too big in those jeans”
Those lies keep the peace and contribute to domestic tranquility.
The justified lie tends to be the most devastating. Those are the lies we tell because we have justified the lie with a moral counter weight that if you don’t tell the lie many will suffer or more will suffer than need be.
For example, if I were an American soldier and I knew the date and location for the D-Day invasion. I would lie to the press and others to save lives. That’s a good lie correct? That’s justified correct?
A justified lie also includes a lie we subject others to because we do not want to admit failure or the fact that we were wrong. Instead of admitting we were wrong we embolden the original lie with a second or third lie. Instead of admitting we lied we will change the historical facts about the situation to lessen the impact of the original.
Here is a good example; when the president says about Obamacare ‘if you have healthcare and you like it you may keep it. If you have a doctor or hospital you like, you can keep it period.’
Was that a lie?
More info from Barry Curtis can be found at www.thecurtisinitiative.com.
