From ‘animal-level’ living to graduating from UNT Dallas

DALLAS—When the University of North Texas at Dallas held its first commencement ceremony Dec. 19, one graduate completed an incredible journey few of her classmates could imagine.

Toni Lambert, 38, grew up on the tough streets of the Roseland Homes community in Dallas and became addicted to crack cocaine at 14. She admits to living an “animal-level” existence for 15 years, sleeping on the streets, in cardboard boxes and in abandoned drug houses known as “abandominiums.”

Lambert started smoking “weed,” or marijuana, at 11. She attended North Dallas High School but never graduated. She was taken

 advantage of by men including a 22-year-old who gave her a marijuana cigarette laced with cocaine when she was 14. “I was just his prey,” she said. “It led to a life where I was consuming $500, $600, $700 of drugs a day. Fried my brain pretty fast,” she said. “It was right there in my neighborhood. It was given to me.”

“I made one bad decision that had a ripple effect for 15 years, and I’m still recovering from it,” Lambert said, “because it is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. I had to learn how to live all over again because my life was really reduced to animal-level living.”

In 1990 at age 19, Lambert was sent to prison for two-and-a-half years for aggravated robbery. When she got out, she went right back to the streets. She got pregnant and had a son, Jeremiah, and she became like the other mothers she had watched in Roseland. Two years later, after another stint in jail for petty theft, she hit bottom.

“I was sleeping outside in a cardboard box under a bush. I woke up that morning, and I said, ‘Can’t do it anymore.’” She went to an “abandominium,” an abandoned drug house with no lights or water, and slept for a week, she said. Then she asked her boyfriend to take her to get some help, and this time she went home to her grandmother, in spite of the shame and guilt she felt in her presence.

She called the Nexus Recovery Center for women and asked for help. They told her to get a taxi and come over the next morning. The next day was May 24, 2000, and that cab ride began her painful, slow road to recovery.

I was looking for a spiritual connection

“I made a whole squallin’ roll, U-turn back around the bend around the bend again,” she said, “What I was looking for was a spiritual connection, and it couldn’t be filled by anything but a spiritual connection. And once I made that connection, here I am today.”

She had to learn how to live all over again. She got her GED diploma, enrolled at El Centro College and earned a certificate in management. Then she enrolled in UNT Dallas. She lives in DeSoto with her fiancée and her “three beautiful boys.” Weekdays she can be found working as a vista volunteer in service to America at Central Dallas Ministries where she did her internship this semester as a volunteer coordinator. She chose CDM because it is one of two organizations that have contributed to the community where she was born and raised. “They focus on hope, health, hunger and housing. They are doing wonderful things,” she said.

Last May, Lambert celebrated 10 years of being drug-free, but life has not been easy. Five years ago her mother died; three years ago her grandmother died, and two years ago, her 7-week-old baby died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. She was running a property management business until the global economy took a nosedive in 2008.

One of her professors—Constance Lacy—became her mentor. “Dr. Lacy has been a huge support,” Lambert said fighting back tears. “She is awesome; she’s firm.” She doesn’t take any nonsense. “She reminds me a lot of my grandmother. She’s going to tell you the truth. That’s just the way it is. I really admire her.”

Lambert started the American Humanics chapter on the campus. It’s goal is to prepare professionals to strengthen and lead nonprofit organizations. She has served as a high school mentor. She was awarded a general academic scholarship and won an American Humanics award. She even tried to follow in Lacy’s footsteps by applying for a Truman Scholarship.

“When you look at the definition of resilience—the ability to bounce back in the midst of adversity—Toni is a good example. One of the

 things I appreciate about Toni is that she has that internal drive and those basic values that, despite her challenges, have helped propel her to finding her place, and she’s found a way to succeed. Her story is very intense, and many have faltered under similar circumstances. But Toni has found the strength to push through the adversity, tell her story and work toward a higher purpose, and I admire that.”

Because of her past, securing gainful employment has proven impossible for Lambert.

“I think about the average person; it’s hard for them to get a regular job. And then it’s like, ‘Why should we hire you? You’ve made all these bad decisions in life.’ Well, I’m trying. If I could produce some document saying this is what I’ve done since then. I know I made bad decisions. I know I made poor choices, but look at what I’m doing now. That’s part of the human service—getting people to see that we’re all human.”

Warren Kennedy, the school’s director of human resources, suggested Lambert start her own business. “I know several people who have done that,” he said. “Find something you really enjoy, something you’re passionate about and find people who will pay you for it.”

Another thing people with a similar background should do is network with other people who have overcome similar adversities, and take advantage of local Chamber of Commerce networking opportunities. “Small businesses are often more willing to hire people who might not fit the mold,” Kennedy said.

Lambert wants to pursue a master’s degree in social work, and she wants to get her license in chemical dependency counseling. But first she needs a job to help her fiancée support their family.

“I really want my own non-profit to focus on youth because I know the danger that lurks out there. It’s been my passion all along. It’s what I get the most enjoyment out of—helping others, serving others.”