By Terri Schlichenmeyer, NDG Contributing Writer
Hindsight is always crystal-clear.
Except this time. Nothing’s clear about your breakup.
What happened in your relationship that shattered it so irreparably? Was it something you said, or did, or didn’t do? You’ve soul-searched and reconstructed conversations, arguments, and laughs. You’ve hashed this over in your mind for months now and your friends are starting to get worried.
Frankly, you’re worried, too, but when you utilize the new audiobook “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan J. Elliott, you’ll see that what you’re experiencing is surmountable. You just need a little nudge.
So what caused the breakup? You’ve asked yourself that question a thousand times, trying to figure out where things went wrong but Elliott says it “doesn’t matter.” You must get through this process, and that’s what’s important.
The first step on a path to healing is to “go NC,” or No Contact. Don’t stop by the places you know your ex frequents. Don’t drive by your old house to pick anything up. Remain away from your ex and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into returning. Forget about saying that “one more thing to say,” because chances are, it’s already been said. Remember that going NC extends to phone and email, too. Understand that you and your ex are not friends and there’s a good chance that you may never be friends. That means you can’t be “friends with benefits,” either.
Once you’ve gone completely NC and have extricated yourself from the relationship, allow some time to work through the loss and achieve healing. Take care of yourself, both spiritually and physically. Allow yourself to ruminate and let your anger out. Admit your role in the breakup and affirm your belief in who you are. Write what you’re feeling in a journal, and share it with a counselor if you think you’re stuck. You can (and should) grieve, but it’s also time to accept and to prepare for a life without your ex. It’s also time to set limits and boundaries.
Finally, keep the kids out of this. To assist you in doing so, Elliott offers seven “rules” to help your children deal with everything, because you and your ex are not the only ones involved in this breakup…
From the devastation that comes at the end of a relationship, through the reeling, dealing, and healing, author Susan J. Elliott worms her way around all aspects of a broken heart. In doing so, she offers plenty of examples from her clients and from her own life.
That adds a good touch of relevance here, but what’s nice about this audiobook is the firmness of Elliott’s advice: she hand-holds, but she’s also very no-nonsense. When you’re digging your fingernails into the last shreds of a relationship and it’s time to move on, that attitude is often exactly what’s needed.
Yes, this audiobook might seem like a lot of common sense because it is. In matters of the heart, though, when it’s hard to see the obvious, “Getting Past Your Breakup” will help you see a crystal-bright future.
c.2012, Brilliance Audio $19.99 / $20.95 Canada 8 CDs / 6h 50m
