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Not so epic Clash of the Titans

I remember when I first seen the Clash of the Titans in 1987, which originally premiered in June 1981.  I was excited about the flying white horse, scared of the oversized scorpions and Medusa, and in awe of the willingness to go above and beyond for the person you liked.  Even as an adult I would race to the television just to see the movie again knowing it was cheesy but appreciating the story line offered of love’s endurance.  Cut to today’s time and the premier of the remake of The Clash of the Titans, which hit theaters on Friday, April 2, 2010 and I am somewhat disappointed.

Why you ask? Well let me tell you…

First the movie deviates from the original story line, guy meets girl; falls in love; girl must die; guy save girls with the cut-off head of Medusa.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why Perseus (Sam Worthington) hates Zeus, though he doesn’t know him and seemingly Zeus (Liam Neeson) does not know he fathered Perseus even though he…ah you get the picture.

Second, there is this mysterious woman (Gemma Arterton) who follows Perseus around his entire life, substitution for the golden owl.  Her presence is never really told other than she does not want him to suffer the same fate as her, out living loved ones.  The scary part to that is Perseus falls for the ancient, though young looking, woman instead of Andromeda (Alexa Davalos).  Not even sure if that is pedophilia of not.

Third, there was no creepy son who lusted for Andromeda; instead it was an angry and bitter king (Jason Flemyng) who was struck by lightning because Zeus tricked his wife.  The special effects team did an excellent job to recreate his character to be similar to the original loser sans the tail.  I still don’t know the purpose of the king and I missed seeing the hairy stalker dude from the first one.

Fourth, I understand they wanted to add some color but I am thinking making the only visible Black character a horse was not cool.  In the original film Pegasus and Perseus have a relationship but in the remake they barely know each other and Pegasus only has small death parts which are at the end.

Finally, I am just saying this because I don’t want to waste too much time on this movie, where did Hades come from?  He wasn’t in the first one and after seeing Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief I started to think that I was watching that remake only with adults.  His character was like the stinky brother that no one likes and I really couldn’t figure out why he was introduced in the movies.

There were some good parts like the remake of Medusa, the three witches, and the scorpions.  Still not sure where the stick men came from or why they existed but it added nothingness to the story line which is what the producers were going for.  Overall if you like action packed scenes with mind numbing anger issues and epic battles with fictional creatures then the remake of the Clash of the Titans is for you.  Other than that wait for the Red Box.

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