Saturday, September 19, 2020

Main Event offers Harry and Meghan Job as Ambassadors of Fun

By Mark Jones – Cropped from Flickr version, CC BY 2.0, Link

After announcing their intention to step back as “senior” members of the Royal Family, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle declared they want to work to become financially independent. Fortunately for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Main Event Entertainment has a couple of openings that could be perfect for the young couple.

Main Event formalized its offer with the following letter:

January 8, 2020

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Harry (forgive us, we aren’t sure how to address you now without Duke and Duchess of Sussex. So, kept it simple. Hope that’s cool.) –

Main Event here. Yeah, THAT Main Event. I know. I know. We’re a big deal. You’re a big deal. But we don’t like to make a “big deal” out of it, either.

We heard the exciting news that you intend to step back as senior members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent. Brilliant!

Though we’re not the kind of chaps who let crazy coincidences steer our lives … holy crazy coincidence! We just happen to have a couple job openings right now that we think are absolutely spot on, right down the middle, center cut, perfect for America’s favorite Royal couple.

We call them, “Royal Patrons of FUN.” We can add Duke in there if you want. We can drop Royal. Maybe Ambassador? Ambassador is cool. It’s your call, but rolling with Royal Patrons of FUN for now.

So, here’s the job. We know you two are loads of fun and we have no doubt you love to have fun with little Archie. That’s what we want you to do: Celebrate FUN. Encourage FUN. Always above all else – have FUN. And Main Event is THE BEST PLACE TO HAVE FUN on any side of the pond!

Bloody hell, this is too good to be true!

Oh, and this job PAYS! In the form of FREE GAMES at any Main Event location around the world (we are currently in 18 states, but around the world sounds sexier). Arcade games. Heck, bowl all you want. Mini-golf. Harry, you got a mean and clean stroke, don’t be modest. Meghan, we totally can see you laughing and smiling while climbing around the gravity ropes high above our 50,000-square-foot centers!

Look, we’re serious about this. We even took the liberty of creating your employee cards already. When you get a sec (what time is it there? Forgive us. But that’s another skill you bring to the job. You know time zones!), please contact us at 469-661-2695.

Thanks so much. We look forward to rolling out the red carpet for you soon.


Main Event People of America (United States, if you prefer)

No word yet on if, the still kinda royal couple, has accepted the job offer.


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