Moms and dads who bathe kids in exaggerated flattery to boost low self-esteem are stifling the very children they hope to elevate, a new study shows.
In experiments involving groups of about 1,000 adults and 500 children, scientists found that kids who self-identified as lacking confidence shied from tough tasks after receiving hyped compliments from adults, according to the paper, to appear in the journal Psychological Science.
The authors theorized that telling children with lower self-esteem they performed “incredibly well” caused those kids to believe they had to match that high standard, making them shrink from trying to repeat the achievement.
“It’s good to become aware of the messages you send to a child – even when the message is well intended, it might have unintended consequences,” said Eddie Brummelman, lead author and a visiting psychology scholar at Ohio State University during autumn 2013.
The findings bolster what other psychologists have maintained: Modern parents put excessive weight on high esteem, yet such parenting tactics don’t always inspire children to challenge themselves.
